People fall in love – in love with married people.
This may not be shocking depending on who you are, it’s 2015 and i imagine the world has gotten brighter and people are coming out with their feelings, even defying natural laws, moral laws, religious laws and all other laws that were maybe put in place to restraint man. Love is life, love is magic and nobody should be stopped from freely experiencing that almost spiritual level of living.
It’s always very difficult writing something controversial, but I need to shed some light on the hypocritical lifestyle practiced by serial monogamists and expose the sadness of a million people who have been forced to live a false life; empty and sad because they have been prompted to believe in monogamy, monogamy that has never been practiced wholly or truly by any tribe of the earth.
Polygamy is the condition of having more than one marriage partners at one time and it is practiced for a plethora of reasons.
From the traditional point, in the early cultures, there was a shortage of men due to wars, this resulted in an uneven ratio and made it necessary for women to marry men who already had wives. Also the size of a family was synonymous to wealth. A large family meant more farm hands and more produce. Children are also seen as a source of strength to parents when they are old, many people sought to have many children and as they could not be produced by only one woman. Men had to marry more.
In recent time polygamous marriages have been rejected by religion, education and majority of society and even though in the northern parts of Nigeria it is accepted legally under the sharia law, majority of the holier than thou populace still lift their noses up in scorn when the topic of marriage among a man and more than one woman is presented But what’s really scorn worthy is their double life and the way they struggle to keep up with the hypocrisy. Lying , lying and a pile of other sins and then I begin to wonder if they have chosen to be blind towards the numerous ways that lead to the same hell they try so hard to run away from.
According to the Bible, there are lives of several great men recorded to have practiced polygamy, with King Solomon marrying 700 wives and 300 concubines (1kings 11:3) and his father King David having several wives (2 Samuel 5:13). Even our western examples have been known to marry as many women as they please during their lifetime, divorcing and remarrying as they please for seemingly flimsy excuses such as pressing the toothpaste tube from the middle or forgetting to drop the toilet seat. In Islam Quran 4:3 also albeit for social issues such as managing orphans and widows advises polygamy and limits the maximum number of wives to four.
I begin to wonder the argument of the enlightened that decide to argue against polygamy. For women, these ‘end times’ (Isaiah 4:1) it would always be the sorry case of shooting oneself in the legs. There would always be more women than men in the world. How perfect is it that a woman is allowed to have multiple sex partners while single and yet criminal to legally decide to share one man? Or have they decided to be single and free rather than pick a number and settle down with someone who’ll share the whole weight of life’s trouble?
They think a polygamous home is full of jealousy and strife, but we forget that jealous individuals fill the home with their jealousy. Even in monogamous families, these jealousies are vested upon their neighbours, relations, friends and in some extreme cases there is even serious rivalry between children from the same mother.
Unfaithfulness is the order of the day and a lot of couples are not happy in their marriages and a lot of men would never be satisfied with just one wife. Everyday i see a number of men who hide behind their bibles and wedding rings, holding their wives proudly in public places whereas a chain of mistresses loiter the background and even forefront of their life. Should we continue to keep our heads in the sand or look up and face reality? Monogamy is unnatural and even though there would be people who will decide to live, have sex and reproduce with only one partner many others would still stray toward nature.
In the case of love, it has been discovered that we humans fall in love with a number of people over the cause of their lives. You’ll meet somebody that lights up your soul then another day you’ll find somebody else who you complete. We should be free to express this love truly and fully as much as it can be, by marriage.
I’ve had the opportunity to talk to some honest women who are married into polygamous homes. They all think polygamy helps the home; it’s more honest than cheating; there’s a lot of love to share around and less stress on their lives by trying to be everything to their husbands – cook, friend, companion and a mother all at one time.
Every moment seems very special and the boredom of monotony is often absent. There’s no waiting till tomorrow just to get in the mood when you only have today. The kids are not left out as they have many siblings and more mothers.
I’ll still be asking questions and I hope they’ll make you ask a few of your own. We are living, we are learning.
